


Avengers "Fun" Group Chat (Thanks Peter)

by wexhavexaxhulk



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2020-11-24 18:03:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20911826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wexhavexaxhulk/pseuds/wexhavexaxhulk
Summary: Spider-Man has added IronDad, Captain'Murica, Spider-Sister, CoolScienceDude, TheStrongestAvenger, BirdGuy1, CoolMetalArm, and BirdGuy2 to The Marvel BunchSpider-Man: Guys! look at our new group chat!Spider-Man: WaitSpider-Man has changed IronDad's name to GoldTitaniumAlloyManSpider-Man: you guys didn't see that





	1. New beginnings of chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man has added IronDad, Captain'Murica, Spider-Sister, CoolScienceDude, TheStrongestAvenger, BirdGuy1, CoolMetalArm, and BirdGuy2 to The Marvel Bunch 
> 
> Spider-Man: Guys! look at our new group chat!  
Spider-Man: WAIT  
Spider-Man has changed IronDad's name to GoldTitaniumAlloyMan   
Spider-Man: You guys didn't see that

_ **Spider-Man has added IronDad, Captain'Murica, Spider-Sister, CoolScienceDude, TheStrongestAvenger, BirdGuy1, CoolMetalArm, and BirdGuy2 to The Marvel Bunch** _

**Spider-Man: **Guys! look at our new group chat!

**Spider-Man: **WAIT

_ **Spider-Man has changed IronDad's name to GoldTitaniumAlloyMan** _

**Spider-Man: **You guys didn't see that

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **I-

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **I have no words

**BirdGuy2:** wow you made THE Tony stark speechless

**Captain'Murica: **How did you get our numbers?

**Spider-Man****:** Mr.Stark

**Captain'Murica:** Tony... That's private information.

**TheStrongestAvenger: **Thank you Mam of Spiders! I truily am The Stromgest Avenher!

**BirdGuy1:** why am I BirdGuy1

**BirdGuy2: **heres a better question WHY AM I BIRDGUY2

**Spider-Man:** I met Mr.Falcon first

**BirdGuy1: **That's not even my name, call me Sam

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** He's been calling me Mr.Stark since I've met him, if anyone is getting called by their first name its me!

**Spider-Man: **I only do that to spite you mR.sTaRk

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** Kid...

**BirdGuy2: **Like father like son.

**TheStrongestAvenger: **Unlike Steve, I apreitiacate you thincking of me and ading me to your chat.

**Captain'Murica: **Hey!

**Spider-Man: **Are you having trouble typing Mr.Thor?

**TheStrongestAvenger:** Inded I am, thesr tiny compyters make iy very difficult ti digutaly comuniate with yiu

**BirdGuy2: **Someone needs to help Thor with auto-correct.

**CoolScienceDude: **On it

**TheStrongestAvenger:** Thank you! This is much better

**Spider-Sister:** Can someone please tell me why my phone just blew up because Spider-Man added me to a group chat with my least favorite people?

**BirdGuy2: **you love me!

**Spider-Sister:** Do I really?

**BirdGuy2: ***GASP* How D A R E you!

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** Did you really just type the word gasp?

**BirdGuy2:** yeah and i will do it again!

**BirdGuy1: **Is no one questioning why Clint only sometimes uses capitalization?

**BirdGuy2:** i do Whatever i want

**Spider-Sister: **You are such a child Clint

**CoolMetalArm**: What did you expect?

**Captain'Murica:** Glad to see you finally joined the chaos.

\--------------------- 

**BirdGuy1: **Can I ask you a question Spider-Man?

**Spider-Man: **Yeah sure

**BirdGuy1**: Why do you keep your identity a secret?

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan**: You don't have to answer that, kid.

**Spider-Man: **It's fine Mr. Stark. Only a few people know my identity and those few are always in danger, bad guys could use them against me. I can't risk losing anyone else because of me. 

**Captain'Murica**: Damn, kid, you can always trust us with your secret, but we understand why you keep it hidden and we won't pressure you into telling us, whenever your ready.

**BirdGuy2: **You're*

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan**: Language 

**Captain'Murica**: I thought we were over that!

**BirdGuy1**: I'm done. This was a serious conversation. You ruined it Clint.

**Captain'Murica**: What do you mean by 'losing anyone else'?

**Spider-Man: **No comment.

**Spider-Sister: **Put your suit on Spiderman, we can go train if you'd like to.

**Spider-Man:** eXCUSE ME! Its SPIDER-MAN!

**Spider-Sister: **That's what I said.

**Spider-Man: **You forgot the HYPHEN.

**BirdGuy2: **ALERT! ALERT! NAT JUST LAUGHED! SHE JUST LAUGHED!

**Spider-Sister: **Are you spying on me from the vents?!

_ **Spider-Man has changed BirdGuy2's name to DeadBirdy** _

_ **Spider-Man has changed BirdGuy1's name to LastLivingBirdGuy** _

**DeadBirdy: **AAAAAHH!! HELP SHE'S COMING FOR ME!

**CoolMetalArm: **I can hear Clint crawling as fast as he can in the vents.

**CoolScienceDude: **So can the rest of the tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on posting everyday, maybe less depending on how busy my schedule is.
> 
> Leave suggestions for future chapters in the comments.


	2. Movie night pt1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night? Sounds like a great idea but what will happen with the chaos of the avengers.

**Spider-Man**: I, Man of ciders, call upon thy Avengers, to a movie night. There shall be many foods of sorts and drinks o'plenty

**LastLivingBirdGuy: **Man of ciders?

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** How much coffee and sleep have you had?

**Spider-Man: **Auto-correct

**Spider-Man:** 8 and 2

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** You've had 8 cups of coffee and 2 hours of asleep?

**Spider-Man: **oops I meant to push 0

**DeadBirdy: ***from the grave* like father like son

**Spider-Sister: **Shut up your dead!

_ **Spider-Man has changed Spider-Sister's name to ScarySpider-Sister** _

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** He's not my son, he's my intern!

**Spider-Man: **yeah, he's just a mentor!

**DeadBirdy: **Yeah yeah, whatever you say.

**ScarySpider-Sister:** You. Are. Dead.

_ **Spider-Man has changed Deadbirdy's name to DoubleDeadBirdy** _

**LastLivingBirdGuy:** So back to the main topic, a movie night? 

**CoolScienceDude: **I think a movie sounds like a great idea!

**LastLivingBirdGuy:** I second that. Will there be any cider?

**Spider-Man: **IT WAS AUTO-CORRECT!

**CoolMetalArm: **Why do you always hyphenate autocorrect?

**Spider-Man: **HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IS PEOPLE KEPT FORGETTING ABOUT THE HYPHEN IN YOUR NAME

**CoolMetalArm: **I don't have a hyphen

**Spider-Man:** WELL WHAT IF YOU DID

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** Calm down and get some sleep, we will do a movie night once you wake up.

**Spider-Man:** your not my mom!!

**ScarySpider-Sister: **Don't make me make you take a nap!

**Spider-Man: ** o k a y

_ **Spider-Man has changed ScarySpider-Sister's name to Spider-Mom** _

**Spider-Man: **gn

* * *

**Captain'Murica: **I have a question. What does idk, ily, ttyl mean?

**CoolMetalArm: **I don't know, I love you, talk to you later.

**Captain'Murica: **Okay I will ask someone else, I love you too.

**DoubleDeadBirdy: ***GASP*

_ **Spider-Man has changed Captain'Murica's name to Mrs. MetalArm** _

_ **Spider-Man has changed CoolMetalArm's name to Mr. MetalArm** _

**Mrs.MetalArm: **Is this the group chat? You guys didn't read anything!

**DoubleDeadBirdy:** i read all of it

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Aren't you supposed to asleep -----?

**Spider-Man: **uhhh

**Spider-Man: **Would you believe me if i said i was sleep texting?

**CoolScienceDude:** Why is that bleeped out?

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Nope, go to sleep or else I will send Nat up there.

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** Its to block out Spider-Mans name incase I accidently said it.

**Spider-Man: **NO NOT SPIDER-MOM!

**CoolScienceDude:** Okay, cool.

**Spider-Mom: **I'm on my way now so you better be asleep by the time I get there.

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Is he asleep.

**Spider-Mom: **Fast asleep.

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Good.

**LastLivingBirdGuy: **Wait, does Nat know who Spider-Man really is?

**Spider-Mom: **Shut up before you become an extinct species.

_ **Spider-Man has changed LastLivingBirdGuy's name to EndangeredBirdGuy** _

* * *

**Spider-Man:** Alright guys I'm up and thriving like dead plant!

**Mr. MetalArm: **I-

**Spider-Man: **Mr.Barton can pick the movies, Mr.Falcon and Mr and Mrs. MetalArm will get/make food, Mr. Banner will get all of the candy, Mr. Stark will get blankets and pillows, and I will do nothing.

**Spider-Mom: **What do I do?

**CoolScienceDude: **On it!

**Spider-Man: **Whatever you want.

**Mrs. MetalArm: **Okay

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **

**Mr. MetalArm: **Sam is busy but we will start soon.

**Spider-Man:** Mr.Barton?

**Spider-Mom: **Mr.Barton is gone...

**Spider-Man: **uhh

**Spider-Man: **Mr. Falcon can pick the movies then.

**EndangeredBirdGuy: **Yes! As much as I love cooking and baking Clint always picks the same two movies. Finding Nemo and Lion King.

**Spider-Man: **What's wrong with those movies?

**EndangeredBirdGuy:** Nothing, but hearing him cry every time Mufasa dies gets very annoying. 

**EndangeredBirdGuy**: Do you have any suggestions for movies?

** GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Oh no...

**Spider-Man: **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** Why did you have to ask that.

**EndangeredBirdGuy**: What?

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** It's all he ever watches! I watch every Friday! I practically know the entire yellow card screen thing.

**Spider-Man: **STARWARS!

**EndangeredBirdGuy**: Spiderman likes Starwars? Spiderman is a nerd? I didn't see that coming.

**Spider-Man:** ITS SPIDER-MAN! And i'm not a nerd

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Sure your not.

**Mrs. MetalArm: **You're*

_ **Spider-Man has changed Mrs. MetalArms's name to GrammarPolice** _

**GrammarPolice: **Really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on making this 1 part but it was becoming too long.
> 
> Leave suggestions in the comments for future chapters.


	3. Movie night pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TheStrongestAvenger: Hello! I'm back, sorry to worry you midgardians.  
EndangeredBirdGuy: We didn't even notice you were gone.  
TheStrongestAvenger: Oh, I see. So, a movie night? Sounds like a lot fun!  
Spider-Man has changed TheStrongestAvenger's name to TheSaltiestAvenger  
Mr. MetalArm: Speaking of movie night, how are you gonna hide your face?

**TheStrongestAvenger:** Hello! I'm back, sorry to worry you midgardians.

**EndangeredBirdGuy**: We didn't even notice you were gone.

**TheStrongestAvenger:** Oh, I see. So, a movie night? Sounds like a lot fun!

_ **Spider-Man has changed TheStrongestAvenger's name to TheSaltiestAvenger** _

**Mr. MetalArm:** Speaking of movie night, how are you gonna hide your face?

**Spider-Man: **I will lurk in dark corner of the room, only being able to see the screen thanks to my Spidey-Sight™

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **My brother used to do that, then he would jump out and stab me.

**Mr. MetalArm: **One that's creepy and two whats a spidey sight

**Spider-Man: **I'm kidding I will have my mask on, pulled up to my nose so I can eat

**Spider-Man: **also its called Spidey-Sight™ since I've gotten my bites my senses have been increased including my sight, I actually used to wear glasses, May was very confused

**GrammarPolice:** Just realized that we know nothing about you. Like how you got your powers, what all of them are.

**Spider-Mom: **I know everything about him.

**Spider-Man: **that's not creepy

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **You used to wear glasses?

**Spider-Man: **that's kinda the point of a secret identity Mr. Captain Rogers Sir

**GrammarPolice:** I-

**EndangeredBirdGuy**: For all we know Spider-Man is 16

**GrammarPolice:** I hope for his safety he is at least over 20, any younger and me Tony would need to have a serious talk.

**Spider-Man: **everyone get the stuff for movie night and lets get it started.

* * *

**Spider-Man: **A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...

**CoolScienceDude: **Are you about to type the crawl word for word.

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** He does this every time except he says it out loud.

**GrammarPolice: **Why exactly are you texting when we are all in the same room?

Spider-Man: we cant talk in the middle of the movie

**Spider-Mom: **If you spam the group chat I will come over there and throw your phone out of the window.

**Spider-Man: **NO!

**Spider-Man: **this is the new stark phone!

**Spider-Mom: **Not even we have the new phone.

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** Everyone just stop and watch the movie

**TheSaltiestAvenger:**Can someone pass the popcorn?

**Mr. MetalArm:** Get your ass up and get it yourself

<strike>**GrammarPolice: **Language</strike>

** _GrammarPolice has deleted a chat_ **

* * *

**CoolScienceDude:** Does anyone hear that noise?

**Spider-Man: **I hear every noise, be more specific

**CoolScienceDude:** Its like a banging, up in the ceiling.

**Spider-Man: **like from the vents

**Spider-Man: **omg

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** What?

**Spider-Man: **MR.BARTON!

**Mr. MetalArm:** Nat's maniacal laugh is terrifying

**Spider-Man: **I will climb up there to find him.

****EndangeredBirdGuy**: **How will you get up there exactly?

**EndangeredBirdGuy**: Oh. I thought that was the suit.

**Spider-Man: **nope. Just my fingers.

**Spider-Man: **did you guys pause the movie?

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** Stay focused.

**Spider-Man: **I found him!

**GrammarPolice:** Bring him back.

**Spider-Man: **he's asking about his phone.

**Spider-Mom: **He will need a new one.

* * *

_ **Spider-Man has added StinkyBird to The Marvel Bunch** _

**StinkyBird: **Why is my name StinkyBird?

**Spider-Man: **remember the time Mrs. Romanoff got really mad at you and threw you into the garbage and you smelled like shit for weeks

**StinkyBird: **How could I ever forget that.

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** I forgot to ask, what does The Marvel Bunch mean? I mean I understand it's like the brady bunch but what does marvel have to do with this.

**Spider-Man:** I don't know it just sounded like it fits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the way this turned out!
> 
> I'm planning on adding other characters but for now we have the main few.
> 
> Leave suggestions for future chapters in the comments.


	4. Opening up (physically and mentally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man: I have a question?  
StinkyBird: I have Answers  
Spider-Man: i'm not sure you'd be the best one to answer  
StinkyBird: I see how it iS  
Mr.MetalArm: Could I help?  
Spider-Man: Yeah. Have you ever been stabbed?

**Spider-Man: **I have a question?

**StinkyBird:** I have Answers

**Spider-Man: **i'm not sure you'd be the best one to answer

**StinkyBird: **I see how it iS

**GrammarPolice: **Your capitalization is terrible.

**Mr.MetalArm: **Could I help?

**Spider-Man: **Yeah. Have you ever been stabbed?

**StinkyBird: **ive Been stabbed!

**Mr.MetalArm: **Yes, a couple of times actually.

**Spider-Mom: **Way more than that, I've at least stabbed you 15 times.

**Spider-Man: **great! Well I mean its not great to be stabbed but you know what I mean

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Are you going any where with this. 

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Aren't you supposed to be at work?

**Spider-Man: **huh?

**StinkyBird: **wow, Spider-Man has an everyday normal job

_ **GoldTitaniumAlloyMan > Spider-Man** _

_To keep your age secret I'm saying work instead of school._

**Spider-Man: **oh yeah work, I left early for a Spider-Man emergency 

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **I told you to stop doing that! 

**Spider-Man: **I know but it was important!

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Remember what happened last time?

**Spider-Man: **yeah yeah no need to remind me what happened

**Mr.MetalArm:** What did happen?

**Spider-Man: **Mr. Stark... please don't you don't tell it right

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Spider-Man split a ferry in half because he just had to leave work even though I had it covered

**Spider-Man: **it wasn't my fault and I had it handled!

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Did you?

**Spider-Man: **...yes

**Mr.MetalArm: **You split a ferry in half? How is that even possible

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **There was alien weapons 

**Spider-Man: **and then I held the ferry together with just my arms and some webbing

**Spider-Man: **if anything its your fault that it happened those were alien weapons from when Ultron was here and you didn't get all of them

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Excuse me?

**Spider-Man: **s o r r y

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Anyways its not like anything bad happened because I took your suit away, and you still got the vulture and you still learned your lesson

**Spider-Man: **did happy not tell you what happened?

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **No, did something happen?

**Spider-Man: **I mean kind of I guess...

**Spider-Man: **but its unimportant 

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **What. Happened.

**Spider-Man: **I plead the fifth

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Nope, not gonna work on me, tell me.

**StinkyBird: **OooOOOoOooo

**Spider-Man: **well...

**Spider-Man: **after you took my suit away I still went after him and he was at a warehouse and I thought he was attacking me with his wings but he didn't touch me but he was actually breaking the beams and he left before the whole building fell on top of me and I almost died but then I lifted it off of me and followed him and he attacked your plane and I followed him and he crashed your plane and then the beach was on fire and then he almost killed me and burned me and i still have the huge scars and then he tried to fly away but he was about to explode so then I grabbed him and he didn't die and Happy got him

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **WHAT!?

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **First of all! I told you not to go after him but you did it anyways. YOU ALMOST DIED TWICE AND YOU GOT CRUSHED BY A BUILDING AND CAUGHT ON FIRE AND HAVE GIGANTIC SCARS TO PROVE IT! I-

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Tony passed out -Pepper

**Mr. MetalArm: **oh my god I didn't realize Spider-Man got into that kind of stuff. A building fell on top of you? And you lifted it off of you?

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Neither did I, why didn't you tell anyone-Pepper

**Spider-Man: **I'm sorry Mrs. Potts I didn't want to worry you guys.

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Worry us? It would have been better if you told us. How bad are the scars?-Pepper

**Spider-Man: **Not...bad

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Don't lie -----...-Pepper

**Spider-Man: **...bad...like really kind of bad

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: -----...**

**Spider-Man: **Mrs. Potts, is Tony on the floor passed out still while you stand over his unconscious body texting us?

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Uh, maybe. Yeah I should probably help him. We will talk about this later. -Pepper

**Spider-Man: **Where are the rest of the avengers?

**Mr.MetalArm: **On a mission. Back to the main topic, why do you want to know why I've been stabbed?

**Spider-Man: **oh right, I've been stabbed and I need to how to fix it

**Mr.MetalArm: **You've been stabbed for the past 20 minutes but never said anything?

**Spider-Man:** actually the past 35, it took me 15 minutes to figure out what to do,my super healing isn't working and there might be poison on the blade and I cant swing back to the tower

**Mr.MetalArm: **You are one hell of a handful how does Tony handle you?

**Spider-Man: **Pepper usually helps him through it

**Mr.MetalArm: **Get your mask on I will be right there, where are you?

**Spider-Man: **I will just have Karen send my location.

**Mr.MetalArm: **Who?

**Spider-Man: **my A.I.

**Mr.MetalArm: **Tony gave you your own A.I.?

**Spider-Man: **can you just come get me

**Mr.MetalArm: **Yeah, on my way.

* * *

**GoldTitainuimAlloyMan: **I have no words for your stupidity right now. I cant even began to explain to you how fucked up this is. I am putting you in therapy.

**Spider-Man: **I know i'm sorry! and I don't need therapy

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan:** Yes you do. Just talk to me about this stuff please, I'm here for you okay?

**Spider-Man: **thank you Tony

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **Did you- Did you just call me Tony?

**Spider-Man: **like I said mr.stark, I only do it to annoy you

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **I'm reading through the messages, you got stabbed and poisoned but decided to have a conversation instead of saying anything?

**Spider-Man: **I might have... but you distracted me! It's your fault!

**GoldTitaniumAlloyMan: **I'm not having this conversation again, get some rest or I will send Nat up there.

**Spider-Man: **ha! I happen to know she's out on a mission with the rest of the team!

**Spider-Mom: **Actually I just got back...

**Spider-Man: **g o o d n i g h t

_ **Spider-Man has changed GoldTitaniumAlloyMan's name to IronSnitch ** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not super happy with the more personal part of the chapter but the other parts are still great.
> 
> Don't forget to leave suggestions in the comments for next chapters or give me constructive criticism.


	5. Vines and more

**Spider-Mom: **So Spider-Man, how did you take down Captain America?

**Spider-Man: **we shot him in ze legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he is an idiot

**GrammarPolice: **Hey! My shield is a normal size.

**Spider-Man: **well if it isn't the man with a giant metal frisbee 

**GrammarPolice: **I'm Captain America

**Spider-Man: **the man with a giant metal frisbee 

**Spider-Man: **so when you finished training in America they give you a trash can lid?

**GrammarPolice: **Shut up

**Spider-Man: **are you the only one with a trash can lid?

**GrammarPolice: **How do you even about that, it was back in the 40's?

**Shuri: **Captain America is from the 40's, but he respects black people and women, did you see how short he was, he knows their pain.

**Spider-Man: **Shuri? How did you get on here, it's so secure that even Tony can't hack into it.

**Shuri: **Wow Peter, do you really think that just because Tony can't hack into something means I can't?

**Spider-Man: **SHURI!

**Shuri: **What, its not like he doesn't already know that

**Spider-Man: **omg 

**StinkyBird: **Spider-Man's real Name is peter? Gasp, is Peter QUill Spider-Man?

**Shuri: **oh, they don't know your real name.

**Spider-Man: **for someone so smart you are so dumb

**Shuri: **I am so sorry Peter!

**IronSnitch: **Well ----- if you want, I can call a meeting and introduce you to the team

**IronSnitch: **Why is your named blocked out for me but not Shuri

**Spider-Man: **Shuri is a better hacker than you

**Shuri: **what he said

**Spider-Man: **all they know is my first name and I'd like to keep it like that *cough* shuri *cough* 

**Shuri: **I said I was sorry! can I still stay on here

**Spider-Man: **Yeah I guess so. why is only like 3 people texting?

**IronSnitch: **Nat already new so she's ignoring her texts and everyone else is either too surprised, busy, or trying to find out who you really are.

**Spider-Man: **oh yeah I almost forgot

_ **Spider-Man has changed GrammarPolice's name to CaptainDinnerPlate** _

**IronSnitch: **are you gonna unblock your name?

**Spider-Man: **done

**IronSnitch: **So Peter, come down to our lab, I have something I want to show you.

**Spider-Man: **coming. Shuri 1) don't spill more secrets and 2) don't hack into more things

**Shuri: **of course

* * *

_ **Shuri has changed Spider-Man's name to Spidey-Son** _

_ **Shuri has changed IronSnitch's name to IronDad** _

_ **Shuri has changed Shuri's name to PrincessPewPew** _

**PrincessPewPew** _**has changed EndangeredBirdGuy's name to thisnameisirrelevant** _

**PrincessPewPew** _**has changed Mr.MetalArm's name to UncleBucky** _

**PrincessPewPew** _**has changed CoolScienceDude's name to GreenScience** _

**Spidey-Son: **SHURI

**PrincessPewPew: **oops, i'll stop

**Spidey-Son: **how many more names would you have done

**PrincessPewPew: **all of them

* * *

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **So Man of Spiders real name is Peter? I wonder if him and Quill are related?

**GreenScience: **That's not how that works

**thisnameisirrelevant: **So Nat knew this whole time?

**Spider-Mom: **Yup

**thisnameisirrelevant: **Name, age, looks, and everything?

**Spider-Mom: **Yup

**UncleBucky: **But you wont tell us

**Spider-Mom: **Nope

**StinkyBird: **What if we bribed you?

**Spider-Mom: **Nope

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **It's for our safety Nat

**Spider-Mom: **Nope. Nope. Nope.

**StinkyBird: **PLEASE!

**Spider-Mom: **Nope

* * *

**thisnameisirrelevant: **Why did the chicken cross the road?

**UncleBucky: **Why?

**thisnameisirrelevant: **To get to the little bitches house. Knock knock.

**UncleBucky: **Whos there?

**thisnameisirrelevant: **The chicken! 

**Spidey-Son: **Good job Sam!

**IronDad: **Stop corrupting the team Peter!

_ **PrincessPewPew ** _ _ **has changed UncleBucky's name to TheLittleBitch** _

**IronDad: **You to Shuri

* * *

**thisnameisirrelevant: **Hey loser say kid backwards!

**TheLittleBitch: **dik?

**thisnameisirrelevant: **hahaha...that's gay

_ **PrincessPewPew ** _ _ **has changed TheLittleBitch's name to GayLittleBitch** _

**GayLittleBitch: **How'd you know?

**Spidey-Son:** huh

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Shut up Bucky!

**PrincessPewPew: **exposed

* * *

**IronDad: **What the fuck is going on with group chat.

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Hey! We don't cuss in the god damn mother fucking house!

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Shit!

**StinkyBird: **As a father, I have to agree with the mother fucker that cussing is bad.

* * *

**PrincessPewPew: **get to Dell Taco!

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **Why should I get to Dell Taco?

**Spidey-Son: t**hey got a new thing called FR E SH A VOCA DO!

**PrincessPewPew: **hey that was my line!

**Spidey-Son: **it's my groupchat!

**PrincessPewPew: **I can change that

**Spidey-Son: **p l e a s e d o n t 

* * *

_ **Spidey-Son has changed Spidey-Son's name to Peter-Man** _

_ **Peter-Man has changed IronDad's name to ManOfIron** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post yesterday, or I guess in the past two days as it's past midnight, but I've been very busy with school and very, very sleep deprived. I'm not sure how much I like this chapter but it will do, as long as yall got a good laugh out of it.
> 
> I've also been having a little trouble coming up with ideas for future chapters so suggestions would be greatly appreitiated. Chapters will get out quicker and yall get what yall want.


	6. Pretzels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added something to the end of the last chapter so you should go see it but it was just a few name changes so it should be easy to figure out.

**Peter-Man: **who wants to buy covered pretzels?

**GayLittleBitch: **What kinds?

**Peter-Man: **chocolate, yogurt, sprinkles, and half chocolate half yogurt

**GreenScience: **I will take a bag of yogurt pretzels. How much are they?

**Peter-Man: **$20

**StinkyBird: **When will we get them?

**Peter-Man: **friday

**StinkyBird: **friday? FRIDAY? ITS THURSDAy that is So LONG from now!

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **I don't know what a covered pretzel is but it sound delightful! I will take 3 bags of each kind. 

**thisnameisirrelevant: **I will take 15 of each kind.

**Peter-Man: **one that's a lot of money and two how can you eat all of that?

**thisnameisirrelevant: **Don't question me

_ **Peter-Man has changed thisnameisirrelevant's name to FatAss** _

**FatAss: **No shame

**ManOfIron: **I will buy 50 of each kind and let everyone eat what they want.

**Peter-Man: **thanks!

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Thank you Tony that's very kind of you. Being an Avenger doesn't pay well.

**Peter-Man: **really? I had no idea. I guess im gonna have to ask Mr. Stark about how much I'll get payed before joining

**ManOfIron: **Are you joining?

**Peter-Man: **not until the pay is better

**ManOfIron: **You turned down being an Avenger because of the money?

**GayLittleBitch: **You turned down the Avengers?

**Peter-Man: **yeah

**ManOfIron: **Which is way more mature than any of you guys.

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Some of us didn't have a choice.

**Peter-Man: **oof

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **What?

**Peter-Man: **oof

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **What does oof mean?

**GreenScience: **I think it was a typo.

**Peter-Man: **oof

**StinkyBird: **oh I think I know what this is my kids say it all the time

**GayLittleBitch: **What does it mean?

**StinkyBird: **I'm honesty not sure

**FatAss: **Your no help!

**GayLittleBitch: **Your no help either!

**Peter-Man: **oof

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **Tell us what it means Man of Spider! Please!

**Peter-Man: **oof

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Please stop saying it Peter, just tell us what it means.

**Peter-Man: **oof

**PrincessPewPew: **oof

**GreenScience: **Not you too Shuri

**ManOfIron: **Guys, stop confusing them.

**GayLittleBitch: **Do you know what it means?

**StinkyBird: **HE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS!

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **Stark what does it mean?!

**PrincessPewPew: **oof

**ManOfIron: **No thanks, this is actually quite amusing

**GreenScience: **Please!

**Peter-Man: **oof

**StinkyBird: **

oof

[o͞of]

EXCLAMATION

  1. expressing discomfort, as from sudden exertion or a blow to one's body.

**GayLittleBitch: **Did you just copy and paste that from google?

**StinkyBird: **Maybe...

**PrincessPewPew: **oof

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **I'm not sure that's correct.

**FatAss: **I think you should try Urban dictionary.

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **Oh yes, try that.

**FatAss:**

[oof](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oof)

when you don't really [care](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=care) but should [say](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=say) [atleast](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=atleast) something

**GreenScience: **Show us another.

**FatAss:**

[oof](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oof)

You did not [know](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=know) what to [write](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=write), so you just [typed in](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=typed%20in) "oof".

**Peter-Man: **oof

**PrincessPewPew: **oof

**Peter-Man: **oof

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **I think I understand now.

**PrincessPewPew: **oof

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Yeah, I think I do too.

**Peter-Man: **oof

**StinkyBird: **oof

**GayLittleBitch: **oof

**PrincessPewPew: **oof

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **oof

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **oof

**Peter-Man: **oof

**FatAss: **oof

**GreenScience: **oof

**ManOfIron: **What is happening...

**Peter-Man: **oof

**PrincessPewPew: **oof

**Peter-Man: **oof

**PrincessPewPew: **oof

**ManOfIron: **STOP!

**Peter-Man: **o k a y

**Spider-Mom: **Oh my god what just happened.

**Spider-Mom: **Are you guys done.

**PrincessPewPew: **y e a h

* * *

**Peter-Man: **WHO WANTS PRETZELS?!

**FatAss: **I think I can speak for everyone when I say YES

**GayLittleBitch: **Coming!

**Peter-Man: **haha! Yes!

**GreenScience: **Why is Bucky, Sam, and Clint stuck in a gigantic web?

**PrincessPewPew: **nice job Peter!

**Peter-Man: **there are actually pretzels in there if you can get past all of the traps.

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **How many traps are there?

**Peter-Man: **18

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **How is anyone supposed to get past all of your trickery? You should meet Loki, my brother, you guys would get along.

**Spider-Mom: **These are great pretzels Peter.

**Peter-Man: **what? how?

**Spider-Mom: **I'm a trained assassin.

**Peter-Man: **fair enough

**FatAss: **Are you going to share those pretzels Nat?

**Spider-Mom: **Nope

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **Wow thank you for sharing Nat, these pretzels really are delicious!

**GayLittleBitch: **Your sharing with him?

**Spider-Mom: **He got in.

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **I've learned lots from Loki over the past few years.

**Peter-Man: **goodluck

**FatAss: **I need those pretzels!

**PrincessPewPew: **oof

* * *

**Ned>Peter**

**Ned: **How did you get 200 orders for the fundraiser?!  
**Peter: **I had a little help from the Avengers

**Ned: **Woah dude! The Avengers bought pretzels from you! Do you think they'd buy some from me? Probably not they just bought a bunch from you. Isn't that kind cheating?

**Peter: **It's not like they'd know or believe me

**Ned: **True

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this has taken so long to get out but I've had to rewrite this many times and I've been very busy but I will be better at posting. I've also started volunteering at an apartment to help kids with their homework and do some crafts so that also might affect my posting schedule.
> 
> Yes I added a small chat between Peter and Ned. Sue Me. It wont happen often.
> 
> Btw follow me on tumblr under the same name!


	7. "Just tell me!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 times Peter accidently reveals his secret and 1 time Steve Rogers is very happy.

0.

**PrincessPewPew**: Peter Parker! I will march down to Midtown high and kick your ass!!

**Peter-Man**: WRONG CHAT SHURI!

**PrincessPewPew**: o o p s

_ **Peter-Man has deleted 1 message ** _

_ **Peter-Man has kicked PrincessPewPew from chat** _

1.

**Peter-Man: **look mr.stark I got a [dog](https://images.hollywoodpicture.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/cute-selfie-of-tom-holland-and-his-dog-tessa.jpg)

**ManOfIron**: Peter.

**Peter-Man:** i know i didnt ask you im sorry i know i shouldve

**ManOfIron**: Peter.

**Peter-Man:** please let me keep her Tony i will bathe her and take her on walks and train her and clean up after her

**ManOfIron**: Peter!

**Peter-Man:** i will let you name her Tony just please let me keep her look how adorable she is! i will let you name her!

**ManOfIron**: Peter this is the group chat!

**Peter-Man**: oh shit

**Peter-Man**: oops

**ManOfIron**: 1) watch your language and 2) your lucky everyone is on some kind of mission or lese you'd be in trouble

**GreenScience**: Well... not everyone, how old are you?

**Peter-Man:** 16

**GreenScience**: Incredible

**Peter-Man:** incredible? i thought you'd be angry

**GreenScience**: Why would I be angry? Knowing Tony I'm surprised your not 12

**ManOfIron**: He practically is.

**Peter-Man: **Hey!

**GreenScience**: Come down to my lab I'd love to formally meet you and run tests if thats ok with you.

**Peter-Man**: of course omw

**ManOfIron**: You might want to delete the messages unless you want the rest of the team to know

**Peter-Man**: oh right

_ **Peter-Man has deleted "look mr.stark i got a dog" and 22 other messages ** _

**ManOfIron**: I'm naming the dog Tessa

**Peter-Man**: huh?

**ManOfIron**: You told me I could name her whatever. Dont question me.

**Peter-Man:** theres no proof

**CaptainDinnerPlate**: What dog? Why is there deleted messages? What happened?

**Peter-Man**: n o t h i n g

**ManOfIron**: Aren't you on a mission?

**FatAss**: We just got back

**Peter-Man:** that was close

**CaptianDinnerPlate**: What was?

**Peter-man**: n o t h i n g:

2.

**Peter-Man:** im coming in the kitchen so i hope no ones in there

**Peter-Man**: oops

**Peter-Man**: that was a bad idea

**TheSaltiestAvenger**: Come back child!

**Peter-Man**: im not a child hmph

**ManOfIron**: Did you just text the word hmph? Kids these days.

**Spider-Mom**: Now you sound like cap.

**Peter-Man:** hi mr.thor

**TheSaltiestAvenger**: We are in the same room, why are you digitally communicating with me?

**Peter-Man:** right

**Peter-Man:** i should introduce myself

**Peter-Man:** doing that right now

**Peter-Man**: ...right now

**FatAss**: So now 2 people know what about the rest of us?

**Spider-Mom**: 3 people

_ **Peter-Man has changed FatAss's name to JealousBitch** _

**GayLittleBitch**: Now were both bitches.

**CaptainDinnerPlate**: Watch your language honey <3

**GayLittleBitch**: (;

**CaptainDinnerPlate**: I mean....

**CaptainDinnerPlate**: uhh

**CaptainDinnerPlate**: I-

**CaptainDinnerPlate**: Tony, the rest of the team and I believe it should be best to for Peter to tell us who he is for the safety of our team.

**StinkyBird**: Nice cover Up

**ManOfIron: **That's not my secret to tell, Peter will tell you when he's ready.

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **It's a shame you guys cant meet Peter, he's quite fun!

**JealousBitch: **We get it!

3.

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

**GayLittleBitch:** Shut up!

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

** GreenScience: ** Some of us are trying to work.

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

** Peter-Man: ** no!

**JealousBitch: **Tell me who you are.

**Peter-Man**: no or I will find you and hurt you! I've done it before!

**ManOfIron:** That is the meanest I've ever seen you.

** Peter-man: ** sorry I'm just really stressed out because of all of this lying! It would really make me feel better if I told someone

** ManOfIron: ** You've told 3 people already and that's just including the team.

**Peter-Man:** I'm gonna tell them

**ManOfIron:** Don't do it!

**Peter-Man:** I've got to do it Mr.Stark

**ManOfIron:** Don't you dare do it

**Peter-Man:** fine I wont

_ ** Peter-Man to JealousBitch: ** my name is peter parker and im 16 please don't tell anyone _

** JealousBitch: ** Yes! I know and some of you don't!

**ManOfIron:** Really Peter.

** Peter-Man: ** s orry I had to! he was very intimidating!

**ManOfIron:** Jeez...

**JealousBitch:** Hows it feel Cap!

**CaptainDinnerPlate:** I respect Peter's decision not to tell me.

_ ** CaptainDinnerPlate to JealousBitch: ** _ _I will find out just you wait..._

4.

**GayLittleBitch: **Hey Nat who's Peter?

**Spider-Mom: **I'm not telling you.

**GayLittleBitch: **Please?

**Spider-Mom: **No.

**GayLittleBitch: **Fine.

**GayLittleBitch: **Hey Sam, my favorite person ever who is amazing beautiful in ever way.

**JealousBitch: **No.

**Spider-Mom: **Not that I care but where was my compliments.

**GayLittleBitch: **You didn't even know what I was about to ask.

**JealousBitch: **You literally just asked Nat.

**GayLittleBitch: **Pretty Please?

**JealousBitch: **No.

**GayLittleBitch: **Fine, you guys are boring.

**ManOfIron: **No.

**GayLittleBitch: **I didn't even ask you!

**ManOfIron: **I was next though, wasn't I?

**GayLittleBitch: **..yeah

**GayLittleBitch: **Thor?

**Peter-Man: **was that you Mr. Hawkeye spying on me from the vents without my mask on?

**StinkyBird: **uhhh No?

**Peter-Man: **Mr. Hawkeye?

**StinkyBird: **If you stop calling me Mr. Hawkeye I will tell you the truth.

**Peter-Man: **deal, was that you spying on me from the vents without my mask on Clint?

**StinkyBird: **maybe...

**Peter-Man: **that wasn't the truth!

**StinkyBird: **Yes.. AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW MWAHAHA

**Peter-man: **uh, good for you? im honestly used to it by now

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Does that mean you finally tell me and my sweetheart

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **AUTOCORRECT!

**Peter-Man: **nope.

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Dammit!

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Don't you say it, that joke is over used!

**StinkyBird: **It really is.

5.

**Peter-Man: **is anyone busy?

**GreenScience: **Tony and Nat are at some business meeting and I'm busy in the lab.

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **I'm on my way to Asgard so I wont be able to communicate for awhile.

**JealousBitch: **Clint left a note for me saying that I have 30 minutes to find him or else he shaves me beard so I'm very busy.

**GayLittleBitch:** I'm not.

**Peter-Man: **great! well Ive been stabbed and I lost my mask so I need to be picked up

**GayLittleBitch: **And I'll find out your identity?

**Peter-Man: **and also save me from bleeding out and from a stranger seeing my face and revealing my identity to the world but yes

**GayLittleBitch: **On my way!

**GreenScience: **We've talked about this Peter, you let us know you've been stabbed first!

**Peter-Man: **oops. you might want to hurry I might paas out doon. lile really sppn.

**ManOfIron: **Peter! Not again! There is so many things wrong with what just happened! I cant even begin!

**StinkyBird: **Welcome to being an avenger!

**ManOfIron:** I-

+1

**Peter-Man: **so as you know, literally everyone in the group chat knows my identity but cap

**ManOfIron: **I'm not sure how that even happened

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **It's been horrible being the only one who doesn't know who you are!

**StinkyBird: **Kinda sad you don't already know

**Peter-Man: **well I'm ready to tell the whole team!

**Spider-Mom: **The _whole_ team

**Peter-Man:** yes

**ManOfIron: **Are you sure?

**peter-Man: **yes

**ManOfIron: **Alright I will set up a meeting.

\------

**Peter-Man: **that went surprisingly well

**JealousBitch: **Your not seriously thinking about adding Wanda are you?

**Peter-Man:** why wouldn't I shes pretty cool

**JealousBitch:** I mean go ahead i guess it your chat but think about it.

**Spider-Mom:** What happened to Shuri?

**Peter-Man: **I kicked her but know that everyone knows I might as well add her back

**ManOfIron:** Great.

_ **Peter-Man has added PrincessPewPew to chat** _

_ **Peter-Man has added RedTingles to chat** _

**RedTingles:** Thanks for added me Peter I'm usually left out of these things.

**Peter-Man:** of course wanda!

**PrincessPewPew: **I'm gonna kick your ass for kicking me out Peter!

**Peter-Man: **haha goodluck cuz im SPIDER-MAN!

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **I finally know who you are! Yes!

**JealousBitch: **Goodjob buddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm just gonna leave this very late chapter here.
> 
> I have many excuses so I will list them for you to see why: I'm lazy, I had writers block, I was very sick for a week straight, school/homework, I had to rewrite parts of it. That's about it.
> 
> I hope its not too soon to reveal his identity but there's so much more I can do now.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are appreciated as all ways.


	8. Merry Chrysler!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers groupchat: Christmas edition aka Tony being concerned for and exhausted by one crackhead Peter Parker aka Tony being done with Peters shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im back from the dead to post my monthly chapter! I actually have a mostly finished chapter that I will post January and it will be a part one of either two or three! I'm trying to get more into writing and thanks to my friend im writing more!

**Peter-Man: **so for Christmas ive decided to bake evrone cookies!!!

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **What is wrong with your spelling boy of spiders

**Peter-Man: **as much as I didn't like man of spider sboy fo spiders id much worse

**ManOfIron:** geez you're up early its 6 am

**Peter-Man: **that's cuz I ddint sleep why ar eyou up

**ManOfIron: **I always know when you are being bad

**StinkyBird:** awWWwww

**ManOfIron: **Go to sleep or else

**Peter-Man: **ur not ma dad!

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **I understood that reference!

**ManOfIron: **Stop showing the team vines and EVERYONE GO TO SLEEP

**Peter-Man: **ew

**ManOfIron: **Ew?

**Peter-Man: **sleep=ew

**ManOfIron: **You need help kid

**Peter-Man: **so why cant i tecvh memes to ze team

**ManOfIron: **Because everytime Thor throws his hammer he yells yeet and Sam walks around yelling FREESHAVVACCADOO like he thinks hes using the word right

**Peter-Man: **and? i see no problems there

**ManOfIron: **GO. TO. SLEEP. NAT!

**Spider-Mom: **peter...

**Peter-Man: **nighty night yall1'

* * *

_ **Peter-Man has changed JealousBitch's name to** _ ** _JealousBootyhole_**

** _Peter-Man has changed GayLittleBitch's name to HappySmolBootyhole_ **

**ManOfIron: **Peter I swear to god if you don't go to sleep right now I'm going to come up there and knock you out

**Peter-Man: **[eyes wide emoji] mrstark I cant

**ManOfIron: **WHy?

**Peter-Man: **I cant tell you

**ManOfIron: **Peter

**Peter-Man: **what I can tel you ive dranken to much of a coffee redbull concoction and I may or may not die I don't know but the other prts a surprise

**ManOfIron: **That's it!

**ManOfIron: **Why did you tell Friday to lock the doors to the kitchen?

**ManOfIron: **Why cant I override it!?

**ManOfIron: **WHY CAN I SMELL BURNING!?!?

**ManOfIron: **PETER!

**Peter-Man: **its

**Peter-Man: **a

**Peter-Man: **s u r p r i s e

**Peter-Man:** mrstark?

**Peter-Man: **do you wanna build a snow man?

**Peter-Man: **it doesn't have to be a snow man....

**Peter-Man: **ookaay byyyeee….

* * *

**Peter-Man: **everyone cmoe to the kitchen I worked rly rly hard on it by setting aside my needsand putting this first so plslike it

**ManOfIron: **Someone tell me what he did and I swear to god if its another giant life sized version of me made out of macaroni im going to throw it out the window and throw you along with it

**Peter-Man: **jeez mrstark

**HappySmolBootyhole: **Its...

**ManOfIron: **Just tell me barnes

**HappySmolBootyhole: **Its like a...I cant even describe it...its like a mountain of cookies? theres like candy canes and christmas trees

**Peter-Man: **exactly 3,592 cookies

**ManOfIron: **I'm done

**Peter-Man: **mrstark?! you no like ma cookies???

**Peter-Man:** does anyone like ma cookies????

**TheSaltiestAvenger:** I do not know what this Chrysler is but it sound lovely if it involves mountains of cookies

**JealousBootyhole: **Merry Chrysler!

**CaptainDinnerPlate:** I understood that reference!

**JealousBootyhole: **So when can we eat these cookies?

**Peter-Man: **now but its gonna have to last all the way till chrysler so dont eat too many at a time 

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **Its 3000+ cookies how are we even going to eat those in time for Easter?

**Peter-Man:** You underestimate me Cap

**RedTingle: **Ive never had the chance to celebrate Chrysler but I will enjoy the cookies

**Peter-Man: **I can show you the world!!!

* * *

**Peter-Man: **omg guys I just had a great idea!

**ManOfIron: **I will help with anything as long as you sleep for at least a few hours

**Peter-Man: **i dont need that

**Peter-Man: **i also dont need your help

**Peter-Man: **wanda i need your help to..._decorate a tree_

**ManOfIron: **oh god

**RedTingle: **should i be worried stark?

**ManOfIron: **100%

**Peter-Man: **meet me in the common room

**ManOfIron: **Lord have mercy on her soul.

**Peter-Man: **she doesn't have a soul

**RedTingle: **[evil smile emoji]

**ManOfIron: **How bad is it Wanda? 

**RedTingle: **its not.._bad_

**ManOfIron: **Please dont say but please dont say but...

**RedTingle: **_but_... you probably wont be super happy

**ManOfIron: **Oh dear lord help me now why have you abandoned me 

* * *

**ManOfIron: **Why is both a whole entire floor blocked from me!?

**Peter-Man: **its a big operation [shrug emoji]

**ManOfIron: **PETER

**Peter-Man: **we will be done soon

**ManOfIron: **How. Soon.

**Peter-Man: **just a few...

**ManOfIron: **A few what

**Peter-Man: **h o u r s . . .

**ManOfIron: **Why am i not surprised...

**ManOfIron: **WHAT THE HELL PETER WHY IS THERE A STRANGE MAN CARRYING A GIGANTIC PACKAGE THROUGH _MY _HOUSE WITHOUT _MY _CONSENT 

**Peter-Man:** oh John is here!

**ManOfIron: **Where is everyone else?

**Peter-Man: **oh i needed extra help but I think the rest left because you were, and I quote "too scary of a papa bear to be around"

**StinkyBird: **Tonys face is very red btw

* * *

**Peter-Man: **im mrstark im done just don't mind the big hole

**ManOfIron: **The big WHAT?!

**PrincessPewPew:** i just read what happened and i need to know what happenes next!

**Peter-Man: **come on in!

**ManOfIron: **do i have to?

**RedTingle:** yup

**StinkyBird: **come on papa bear lets see what your son has created

**ManOfIron: **No.

**HappySmolBootyhole: **We will make you see Tony.

**RedTingle:** don't test us

**ManOfIron: **Fine.

**PrincessPewPew: **WHAT IS IT!?!?!

**ManOfIron: **Its...

**PrincessPewPew: **tell me!!!

**TheSaltiestAvenger: **It a tree made entirely out of cookies, beneath it is an abundance of presents made with big cubes of cake and topping it is an Ironman made of cake.

**PrincessPewPew: **that. is. AMAZING!!

**Peter-Man: **mrstark come back!!!

**ManOfIron: **Nope

* * *

**ManOfIron: **I don't want to but I have to ask...did you bake an entirely batch of cookies just for this tree?

**Peter-Man: **yes I did! 5,108 cookies and 442 Ibs of cake

**ManOfIron: **I'm. Done.

**ManOfIron: **This better be eaten by Christmas I'm not dealing with it next year

**Peter-Man:** your funny mrstark but these cookie will last us at least a year

**ManOfIron: **Wont they mold?

**Peter-Man: **no i added glue to them so they wont mold and get gross

**ManOfIron: **I-

**Peter-Man: **merry Chrysler?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw Friday said 'of course, boss'  
Feel free to leave comments and a kudos. Also follow me on Tumbr under the same name (wexhavexaxhulk) to see more, equally frequent fics (not frequent at all)


	9. Field trip trope: pt1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my favorite trope: field trips
> 
> its quite self explanatory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, I have risen from the dead to drop this off, I will be returning with a pt 2 (maybe a pt 3 if I don't finish in the next part) in about a month or two knowing me
> 
> remember when I said I wanted to post every day? and then every week? how does every month sound

**Peter-Man: **ugh our names are getting boring im changing them

_ **Peter-Man has changed Peter-Man's name to thwipthwip** _

**CaptainDinnerPlate: **What is a thwip?

**thwipthwip: **the sound my webshooters make duh

** _thwipthwip has changed ManOfIron's name to MetalBoy_ **

**MetalBoy: **Really?

_**thwipthwip has changed CaptainDinnerPlate's name to ** **DummyThicc**_

_****DummyThicc**: **_What does that mean?

_ **thwipthwip has changed TheSaltiestAvenger's name to ** **ThyWorthyOne** _

**ThyWorthyOne: **I like it!

_ **thwipthwip has changed GreenScience's name to ** **Dr.Dude** _

**Dr.Dude: **Okay?

_ **thwipthwip has changed Spider-Mom's name ** **to ** **MotherOfSpiders** _

_ **thwipthwip has changed Stinkybirds name to ** **VentBum** _

_**thwipthwip has changed JealousBootyhole's names to ** **TrashPigeon**_

_ **thwipthwip has changed HappySmolBootyhole's name to ** **Jesus** _

**Jesus: **Ha! You guys are ventbums and trashpigeons and im Jesus

**TrashPigeon: **Thats not very Jesus-like of you to say

**thwipthwip: **Wanda is keeping her name cuz i like it

**PrincessPewPew: **what about my name?

**thwipthwip: **you would end up changing it anyways so why bother

**PrincessPewPew: **fair

* * *

**MetalBoy****: **Everyone come to SI, there arefield trips on there way and I need you guys here.

**DummyThicc****: **Of course, anything for the youth.

<strike>**thwipthwip****: ** no no no no no no, you guys cant come none of you can not even Tony I have a field trip there today and you guys cant be there</strike>

<strike>**thwipthwip:**</strike><strike>dammit! why aren't my texts going through</strike> <strike></strike>

<strike>**thwipthwip**</strike>**<strike>:</strike> ** <strike>noooo stupid bus</strike>

**Dr.Dude****:** We will all be there.

**TrashPigeon****: **All of us?

**Dr.Dude****: **Yes

**ThyWorthyOne****: **I for one can't wait! Midgardian children are hilariously stupid! Why do they put pennies in there mouth, those things are disgusting.

<strike>**thwipthwip**</strike><strike>**: ** </strike> <strike>and you've been on earth for how long?</strike>

**MotherOfSpiders****: **Your talking about toddler's, its going to be high schoolers.

**ThyWorthyOne****: **What's the difference?

**Jesus****:** I honestly have no idea

**RedTingle:** Will Peter be there?

**MetalBoy****: **I'm not sure, theres gonna be many schools and many classes and I haven't had time to check.

**PrincessPewPew: **Ha!

<strike> **thwipthwip** </strike> <strike>**:** please tell them Shuri! i know you know!</strike>

<strike>**thwipthwip**</strike><strike>**:** </strike> <strike>this is not gonna end well</strike>

**ManOfIron: **I need Cap and Wanda to be at the hall of heros.

**RedTingle: **whats that?

**MetalBoy****: **Its a hall full of hero things.

**RedTingle: **thanks,,,, real helpful

**VentBum****: **I cannN feel the sSarcasm in the text down to myyyy bone

**Dr.Dude****: **Its a hall full of different hero like things for instance, one of Steves first sheild, or one of Tonys old Iron man suit, it even has Peters first webshooters.

**RedTingle: **interesting, your much more helpful than Stark

**MetalBoy****: **Anyways, Brucie and Sam will be in the hall of villians. And for _those of you who dont know _its basically the hall of heros but more villiany

**TrashPigeon****: **I dont think thats a word

**VentBum****: **thE eyerollllll Wanda just gAve might even top Tonyyss

**MetalBoy****: **No one can top my eyeroll!

**RedTingle: **eyeroll contest?

**MetalBoy****: **Your on!

**ThyWorthyOne****r: **Where sall I be posted?

**MetalBoy****: **Right, back to the main topic, you and I will be walking around SI talking to the groups as they go along, teenagers seem to love you.

**ThyWorthyOne****: **Yes, I am very handsome and admirable

_ **thwipthwip has changed TheSaltiestAvenger to TheGodOfHumbleness** _

<strike> **thwipthwip** </strike> <strike>**: **oh so that works!</strike>

**VentBum****: **hA! nice one petr fininaly sO meone said soemhting

**MotherOfSpiders****: **Is your phone broken?

**VentBum****: **nOope

**MetalBoy****: **Oooookaaayy alright then, I need Bucky to be in the lab just watching over the kids making sure they don't touch anything and if your fine with it maybe showing off your arm and think that's something the kids find cool.

**Jesus****: **Yes! I'm alone!

**VentBum****: **wEL what dO I dooo

**MetalBoy****: **I need you to watch over everything from the vents. And Nat, I need you to be in the lobby talking to the incoming groups.

**MotherOfSpiders****: **On it.

**MetalBoy****: **and hurry up and get here the first group is arriving soon

* * *

**thwipthwip:**ah! yes! service!

**thwipthwip****: **YOU GUYS CAN NOT BE HERE IM ON MY WAY AND YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE MEAN

**PrincessPewPew: **atleast that flash kid wont bother you anymore after he sees how close you are to the avengers

**VentBum****: **were Not meaN!

**RedTingle**: debatable 

**MetalBoy****: **Whos this flash kid thats bothering you?

**MotherOfSpiders****: **who do I need to strangle?

**thwipthwip****: **woah woah jeez calm down Aunt Nat its fine

**TrashPigeon****: **Dont worry...we wont embarrass you...

**thwipthwip****: **uhhh I find that hard to believe

* * *

_ **AcaDec GroupChat** _

**TheManTheMythTheFlash: **so penis parker are you finally gonna be outed about your fake internship at SI and that you dont know the avengers

**Peter: **I wish

**Betty: **I still cant believe you have that ridiculous name while the rest of us put our normal names

**Ned: **im sure everything will be fine

_ **Peter>>>Ned** _

**Peter: **{a screenshot of the avengers groupchat}

**Ned: **everything will not be fine

**Abe: **your just mad that peter knows the black widow and you dont

**Betty: **yourr're*

**Ned: **uuor"ree*

**Charles: **uuuuuuuuuue*

**Sally: **j*

**Cindy: **you're*

**Cindy: **you guys are so illiterate

**Ned: **your no fun

**Cindy: **{facepalm emoji}

**TheManTheMythTheFlash**: looks like were here get ready to be completely embarrassed 

**Michelle: **you better hope you're right or else the black widow is gonna totally kick your ass

**Abe: **i would pay thousands just to see blackwidow kick someones ass especially if that someone is flash

**TheManTheMythTheFlash: **Hey!

**Mr.Harrington: **Let's not talk about one of The Avengers kicking one of our teamates butt please

**Betty: **not to be rude but who invited Mr. Harrington to the groupchat? hes kinda ruining our fun

**Abe: **fr

**Mr.Harrington: **This groupchat was made to discuss information involving meets and other important AcaDec things, you guys decided to make it like this.

**Mr.Harrington:** Sounds like a you problem.

**Cindy: **did he just-

**Ned: **I think he did...

**Abe: **I-

**Betty: **sooo...

**Abe: **what are you guys doing next week?

**Peter:** idk I don't have 2020 vison ;)

**Ned: **omg Peter that was bad even for you

**Peter: **worth it

_ **The Marvel Bunch** _

**MotherOfSpiders****: **Did Peter just walk in?

**thwipthwip: **uhhh… no that's some different spiderchild

**MotherOfSpiders: **Oh I lost you in the crowd

**thwipthwip: **lost who in the crowd?

**PrincessPewPew: **wait, whats going on?

**VentBum: **nAT SAW PETER AND HE PRETENDED SHE DIDNT

**PrincessPewPew: **Clint, could you be my eyes and ears since I'm in Wakanda? and can you talk normally

**VentBum: **dependedss

**PrincessPewPew: **I will give a mini version of thors hammer made out of vibranium

**VentBum: **deal 

**PrincessPewPew: **ok so whats happening

**VentBum: **some dude is laughing at Peter and his fedora wearing friend

**PrincessPewPew: **ew that's Flash laughing at them also Ned is the Fedora wearing dude

**VentBum: **that flash kid just pushed peter but he didn't dodge for some reason

**PrincessPewPew: **he tries not to use his powers I front of other people which includes his spidey sense

**MotherOfSpiders: **Wait, someone pushed Peter?

**MotherOfSpiders: **No one pushes my Peter and gets away with it!

**PrincessPewPew: **this is gonna be good!

**VentBum**: nat is walking up to them but peter hasn't noticed her yet

**VentBum:** everyone looks terrified accept Peter who is clueless

**VentBum: **peter finally turned around and said oh hey aunt Nat and nat patted him on the head and SMILED and said hey peter and everyone else is SO shocked

**VentBum: **flash backed up but nat walked forwards then he backed up and that kept happening until he backed up into a wall 

**VentBum: **nat terifyingly calm and she politely asked flash to PLEASE leave peter alone as SHE CARES ABOUT HIM then she walked off

**PrincessPewPew: **holy shit! she was pissed!

** _AcaDec Groupchat_ **

**Betty: **lmao the black widow did just kick flash's ass

**Abe:** are we not gonna talk about the fact that Peter called the black widow aunt nat?

**Cindy: **seriously peter what was that about? she said she _cared _about _you_

**TheManTheMythTheFlash: **so how much did you pay her to say that

**Charles: **i think flash is still in shock because what idiot would think that whatever just happened was fake

**Michelle: **where is Peter anyways

**Mr. Harrington: **Good question Michelle, has anyone seen him?

**Sally: **i saw him run off but the black widow followed him

**Mr. Harrington: **Okay, everyone keep an eye out for him but don't bother him, I'm not sure what his relationship to her but I know he's safe at least

**Abe: **eye-eye captain

**Cindy: **you and peter need to stop with all of the puns

**Betty: **eye think you are forgetting one

**Cindy: **not you too betty

**Charles: **eye think your overeacting 

**Ned:** your eye puns are pathetic! eye can do way better than that! but there is no reason to lash out like that cindy just because our puns are cornea were just trying to break the eyes after what just happened to a fellow pupil but this is just how eye roll

**Abe: **i pronounce you king of eye puns!

**Ned: **thank you! thank you!

_ **The Marvel Bunch** _

**VentBum: **so after that happened Peter ran off from emmbarrassment im assuming but nat followed

**PrincessPewPew: **what are they talking about

**VentBum: **its hard to hear but its really serious

**VentBum: **peter looks really sad and said sorry

**VentBum: **nat said something about bullying i think if i turn up my hearing aid i can hear them better

**VentBum: **oh nat had asked how long flash had been bullying him and peter said that doesnt matter but nat gave him a look and peter looked down and muttered something but i couldnt hear

**VentBum: **nat obviously did and it obviously shocked her and now theyre hugging and peter is crying a bit

**MetalBoy: **This is none of your business! You guys need to be respectful to Peter and not invade his privacy!

**PrincessPewPew: **of course i am sorry

_ **AcaDec groupchat** _

**Abe: **can some one please explain why peter is not only hugging the black widow but is also crying into her shoulder

**Charles: **they look like mother and son

**Betty: **aww its really cute , im gonna take a picture

**Sally: **send it to the rest of us

**Betty: **[picture: peter crying into nats arms]

**Ned: **all 4 girls just said awww simultaneously even MJ

**Michelle: **dont expose me

**Cindy:** you guys might want to look again becasue now the same thing is happening with _tony stark_

**Abe: **wow flash it looks like peter wasnt lying after all

**Ned: **duh

**Betty:** [video: tony kneeling down in front of peter and holding his hand all dad like and talking, then standing up and hugging a crying peter]

**Charles:** that time it was more of a squeal

**Cindy: **you guys need to stop exposing us

**Abe: **arent you exposing peter?

**Betty: **that's different

**Abe: **how

**Michelle: **peter looks fucking adorable. we sound stupid

**Cindy: **yup

**Abe: **I-

**Charles: **did michelle call peter adorable?!?!

**Charles: **the look I got from her was terrifying

**Betty: **oOoOoOo flash is in troubleEeEe hes getting A sTeRn TaLkInG tO

**Ned: **I think he is in serious trouble guys maybe we shouldn't mock him

**Ned>>Peter**

**Ned: **you okay dude?

**Ned: **are you gonna come back?

**Ned: **peter?

**Peter: **im on my way back. mrstark knows about flash now. 

**Ned: **oh okay im glad maybe he will finally stop bothering you now

_ **AcaDec groupchat** _

**Betty: **uwu

**Sally:** owo

**Betty: **uwu

**Sally: **owo

**Betty: **uwu

**Abe: **whatre you guys doing

**Sally: **

**Betty: **

**Sally: **o

**Betty:** w

**Sally: **o

**Abe: **aight imma head out

**Cindy: **guys I think I see peter

**Charles: **I cant believe something this bad has already happened and the field trip hasn't even officially started yet

**Mr.Harrington: **Everyone, please meet back up, I would like to get the tour started, we don't have all day and I would like to see more than the check in.

**Charles: **yes sir

**Sally: **coming

_ **The Marvel Bunch** _

**VentBum: **looks like the group is meeting back together including peter and flash

**PrincessPewPew: **okay keep me updated

**VentBum: **looks like nat is joining them

**PrincessPewPew: **oh boy this is gonna good

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos's and comments are welcomed, i'd love to hear your thoughts
> 
> My posting schedule is whack
> 
> follow me on tumblr under the same name!


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